Funny jokes that make you laugh, jokes to tell friends. Groggy with sleep, he struggles to get up, puts on his robe, and. Here are some of the best deaf jokes weve heard over the years. Jews dont recognize jesus as the son of god, protestants dont recognize the pope as the vicar of christ, and baptists dont recognize each other at the bar on saturday nights. You need to make adjustments so the car is comfortable for you, the driver, i began. The wife wakes her husband in the middle of the night complaining of a headache. There are about 50 acres of rolling hills with a little cottage on the knoll. Weve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce. A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. Funniest joke i ever heard 1984 george burns youtube. Theres a bus driver and hes driven through town picking up kids he picks up this. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. Then, the bus takes a right and slowes down to 44 miles per hour because there is a cop nearby.
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She dropped me a line after reading my recent editorial about retired school bus driver tom brandons book. Jan 05, 20 a joke about a male bus passenger insulting a womans ugly baby has been voted the funniest gag ever told. In a crowded city at a bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Funny road signs, funny street signs, intellectual quotes, funny life, the funny. If my mommy was a lion and my daddy was a lion i would be a little lion.
During this time, the priest is thinking to himself, since im a priest i should be right next to god. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. Nov 25, 2006 a car with two broken headlights drives towards the dog but turns in time to avoid hitting him. How a district critic and former bus driver plans to. So the pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon. See more ideas about bus humor, bus driver and school bus driver. Dec 04, 2018 nj highway sign displays dirty message and a number. The morning of his first day on the job, his wife gives him a kiss goodbye and says, now i want to hear all about it when you come home, dear. Hearse driver there was a hearse driver and he had driven a hearse for 25 years and today was his first day as a taxi driver and he was very nervous. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt, with matching tight leather boots and jacket.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. The bus driver on sesame street one day a young husband gets a job as a bus driver on sesame street. When the hippie got off the bus, the bus driver stopped him. See more ideas about bus driver, school bus driver and wheels on the bus.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed st. First day driving the bus, he gets to the first stop and two very overweight women get. If you can give me a reason for speeding that ive never heard before, ill let you go. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and. Funnycrazysilly bus driver skit how not to deal with students and parents duration. Researchers examined more than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 and getting 36,000 people to vote for their favourites. But on every other joke thats posted on this sub, it gets referenced, and theres. In the house, i hear raymond the cat working on a hairball. Sep 15, 2010 george burns tells his favorite joke about a broadway actor who played eight weeks of vaudeville in cincinnati. He motions to the priest, and they both hop in a jeep and go out the back door. What is the funniest joke youve ever heard or read. Nov 25, 2008 when the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, if you want, i can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the mans supper and began whining and jumping up at him.
Lester begged and begged and begged, saying that the bunions on his feet hurt a lot, and that he had no other way to get to where he needed to go. A bus driver knows the stops, and a cold stops the nose. The next day the little johnny gets on the bus and sits behind the driver and starts again. The bus driver had just about had enough but decided to not say anything this day. Realizing that the bus made a wrong turn, the bus pulls a uy. So he picked up a man and was driving to his destination but as they were driving there the man in the back seat wanted to ask him a question and tapped him on the shoulder. A deaf couple check into a motel and go to bed early. People would call the old jokeline number needing a jokeaday, and i would answer. If my mommy was a goose and my daddy was a goose, i would be a little goose. See more ideas about car humor, humor and funny pictures. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus. The adult humor on these t shirts and hoodies informs the world how its done. As she slid behind the wheel for her first driving lesson, my daughter couldnt contain her excitement. The priest and the bus driver a priest and a bus driver both go to heaven at the same time.
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. Maw has served as a school bus driver for the past 24 years. The bus driver says, thats the ugliest baby that ive ever seen. Guy named ross gets a new job as a school bus driver.
He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A nun was riding on a bus, and a hippie sat down next to her. When a man graduated from bus drivers school, his first assignment was the sesame street route. He gets a bus that has bert and ernie, grover, big bird, et. We have a great collection with the best bus jokes at. So, he sets out on the run and at his first stop a boy gets on.
The driver finally lets up, oh, alright, i cant really say no to the pope. The little johnny gets on the bus and sits right behind the. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an olympic size pool. The difference between a good driver and a bad driver is about 35 years too many on the road. Boss replies, once you have some seniority well give you a newer bus. Lynn maw of utah has heard a lot on her school bus, but one youngsters candid comment stands out as the funniest. A bus driver was heading down a street in colorado. However, while many of us have repertoires chockfull of raunchy jokes perfect for cracking up our college pals, there are numerous times when a more delicate, clean joke is neededlike when youre trying to win over that new boss or elicit a laugh from your grandma. Nj highway sign displays dirty message and a number. A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors. Never heard what happened to him but i hope it was something good. She asks him to go to the car to get some aspirin from the glove compartment. Most of the passengers on the bus are getting involved and after twenty minutes of bickering the driver, tired of the argument, slams on the brakes and stops in the middle of the street.
Go read another article on the internet and let the rest of us have our fun. A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. The bus turns left and changes speed to 76 miles per hour. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a no left turn sign, and he went the wrong way on a oneway street. As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Comedy genius tommy cooper had by far the most jokes in the list, which also. Oct 15, 2019 antibiotics and insulin aside, laughter is undeniably the best medicine. Feb 09, 2008 the bus driver reminded him that company policy stated he must have shoes on to ride the bus. Taxi driver wolf of all streets taxi driver quotes gift poster. Since you are the first one on, you get your choice of seats.
But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery,loses control and crashes into the ditch. Answering, he heard his wifes voice urgently warning him, herman, i just heard on the news that theres a car going the wrong way on 280. Apr 09, 2017 old man tells joke about irs and gambleling. A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. Peter turns towards the priest and beckons him to follow. Funniest joke i ever heard 1984 jimmy stewart duration. A sexy madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st grade class. Like most people of irish descent, i love funny irish jokes. The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. The bus driver said, thats the ugliest baby ive ever seen.
However, i have no doubt that many people will be offended by the irish jokes on this page. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. This one liner bus driver joke is sure to make someone laugh out loud. Bus joke 11 a man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Peter shows the bus driver his house, which is three houses away from god. School bus driver shares the funniest thing heard on her. When sabrina is riding on the bus in this episode, she walks towards the front of the bus and the bus driver tells her hey, sandra bullock. The bus is driving the street at 56 miles per hour. Cemetery jokes on the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. Landry avenue, a major street that runs from the mississippi river bridge through the fischer projects and into algiers, a neighborhood sometimes.